Elliot Lately...

This little guy is just oozing personality these days! He is such a goofball and so funny. It's such a joy to be able to watch him grow and learn. He is changing every day and becoming such a little boy. My heart is over flowing with love for this little one!!

Raising this little man.

Being the mama of a little boy is wonderful. There is something special and unique about the relationship of mother and son, and I can see it developing with Elliot already. I also feel this weight to raising a son. The idea that we are raising a future man here, seems daunting at times. This boy will grow up and be a husband and father (Lord willing) and be called to protect and serve those around him. What does that mean for Adam and myself as his parents? What does this look like in our parenting? For us, it brings us to our knees. We realize how ill-equipped we are and how insufficient our parenting is. Thankfully, we have a faithful and loving God who promises to provide all of our needs. So, it looks like utter dependance on the Lord. There is nothing that we can do-- we need that grace of Jesus Christ every moment of every day (and he's only 8 months old!).



This article has been a great form of encouragement for me.

Gratitude.

I have worked since I was sixteen. Shortly after I turned seventeen, I got a job at Starbucks and worked there until this past February. I loved it (most of the time). I loved the environment; making coffee, working with friends and being able to have conversations with hundreds of customers. It was awesome. So awesome, that I was nervous about becoming a "stay-at-home wife and mama." I was afraid that I would get all stir-crazy and go nuts staying home all of the time. But I love it so much more than I ever loved working. I am so, so blessed that I am able to spend my entire day with Elliot. That I am the one who gets to soothe him when he's sad, who gets to feed him, bathe him, dress him and play with him. That every time he learns something new, I am here to witness it. That I know what every single cry he cries means. It is truly a gift from the Lord, and I take it for granted. In leu of Thanksgiving (it's a little disheartening that it takes a holiday for me to reflect) I have been thinking about all of the ways that God has faithfully and richly blessed us. I have been reflecting on this past year and how difficult and stretching it was at times, but mainly how wonderfully rich and blessed it has been. Being able to stay at home is something that God has really provided for and worked through. There were times throughout my pregnancy that Adam and I said "how in the world is this going to happen?!" But God has continually provided for us and taken care of our needs. My heart is overflowing; God is infinitely good and whether I acknowledge it or not, I am tasting his goodness everyday.




O Lord my God,

When I in awesome wonder

Consider all

The world Thy Hand hath made,

I see the stars,

I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy pow'r throughout

The universe displayed;




Then sings my soul,

My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art!

How great Thou art!

Then sings my soul,

My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art!

How great Thou art!





When through the woods

And forest glades I wander

I hear the birds

Sing sweetly in the trees;

When I look down

From lofty mountain grandeur

And hear the brook

And feel the gentle breeze;




And when I think,

That God, His Son not sparing;

Sent Him to die,

I scarce can take it in;

That on the Cross,

My burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died

To take away my sin.





When Christ shall come,

With shouts of acclamation,

And take me home,

What joy shall fill my heart!

Then I shall bow

In humble adoration

And there proclaim,

"My God, how great Thou art!"

"comparison is the thief of joy"

I can not tell you how often I need to be reminded of these words. I deeply struggle with an idol of approval. The Lord is so gracious to me and is greatly growing me in this area but, I have so much to learn. I recently read this article and was so encouraged (but also, pretty convicted).

Ever since I became a mom I feel like this issue has become more magnified. Not only do I think people are watching me and judging me, I now think they are watching my child and his every move is somehow a reflection on me. Adam tells me all of the time to "get out of my own head," and he is so right. I am so inward focused. I am so self-consumed.

This article was such a great reminder of the freedom and security that we have in Christ! I don't have to be trapped in this "oh no, what will so-and-so think?" mentality because my identity is found in Jesus Christ-- the King of the universe! If I really believed and rested in this! Oh my, how different my life would be! If the Gospel really and fully has changed my heart, I wouldn't be weighed down by these insignificant fears. But it hasn't. I have to be refocused on Christ constantly; I have to reminded that HE loves me... so much so, that he died for me. This has to sink to in, over and over again. The only way for any of this to happen is through the Lord and not through any of my own attempt, and praise God for that. I am such a train wreck sometimes and I am so grateful that God sees THAT as good--- my total insufficiency for His total sufficiency.

Resting in His grace,

Megan